


Stories for angsty-gay-teen

by anamaleth



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Character Death, Cuddling, Dancing, Day At The Beach, Death, Established Relationship, Fireflies, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Heavy Angst, Immortality, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Insomnia, Kissing, Light Angst, Lightning bugs, Love, M/M, Major Character Injury, Married Couple, Married Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Mentioned Logan/Patton, Onesided Intrulogical - Freeform, Onesides Dukeceit, Pain, Roman and Virgil are a couple, Sleepy Cuddles, Slow Dancing, Story Four:, Story One:, Story Three:, Story Two:, Suffering, Swearing, This is really really fluffy and has no angst, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Very fluffy, Virgil has spiraling thoughts, pining remus, sunset
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 01:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21839173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anamaleth/pseuds/anamaleth
Summary: Story One: Blossoms of SorrowWhen Remus starts coughing up flower petals, he knows something is very wrong. Confused and scared, he goes to his brother to find out what's wrong with him.Story Two: Would that I (Inspired by the Hozier song)Remus and Deceit finally get to spend some alone time - together.Story Three: 'Til Death Do Us PartVirgil never would've thought he'd be married one day.But here he was, lying in the arms of his husband.If only it weren't for the spiralling thoughts of inevitably losing him due to his immortality...Story Four: Fireflies (Inspired by the Owl City song)When Virgil finds himself unable to fall asleep, Roman has an idea of how to cheer his boyfriend up.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 10
Kudos: 89
Collections: Sanders Sides Secret Santa 2019





	1. Blossoms of Sorrow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [angsty-gay-teen](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=angsty-gay-teen).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Remus starts coughing up flower petals, he knows something is very wrong. Confused and scared, he goes to his brother to find out what's wrong with him.

**Story One - Blossoms of Sorrow**

Remus felt like the world around him was twisting and turning in circles, waves of nausea crashing down on him over and over again.  
But instead of vomit, he threw up dark blue flower petals.  
Blood and saliva stained his sleeves as he tried to remove the petals from his mouth, only to cough up more, just a few seconds later.

After what felt like an eternity to him, the nausea was replaced by a sharp pain – his chest felt like it was growing tighter and tighter. 

Clutching his torso in agony, Remus stumbled out of his room, having to pause every few steps in order to not fall over. Finally, he reached his destination.  
“Roman?” he choked out, his voice sounding strained and weak.

The door opened.  
Roman flinched when he saw his brother standing in front of him.

Granted, he’d seen him in worse states before, after all, Remus was more than happy to get injured for “fun”, as object impermanence made his injuries not only unpainful but also a lot less intimidating.

This, however, didn’t seem like Remus was enjoying it. At all.  
He was suffering.

“Remus, this is…this is not funny! You shouldn’t joke about those kinds of things. Stop it!” Roman said, trying to assure himself that this was simply another one of his brother’s stupid jokes.

However, his hope for seeing Remus laugh at him for being concerned and run away was shattered the second Remus started coughing.  
Tears were streaming down his face as bloody petals fell to the floor.

“What is happening to me?”  
He sounded like the scared child being dragged away into the darkness he’d been so long ago. Confused. Terrified. Longing for someone to reassure him that everything would be okay. 

Roman tried to hold back the tears that were rushing to his eyes.  
It was as if a switch had been flipped in his head, and all of a sudden, he was able to make sense of something he desperately wished he couldn’t.  
Because this? This couldn’t be happening!  
This was just a nightmare. A nightmare he’d wake up from in a few seconds and-

Another cough interrupted Roman’s spiralling thoughts.  
More flower petals. More bloody flower petals.

Remus’ face was pale, even paler than usual, and his eyes were glassy.  
He looked sick, vulnerable. Defenseless.  
Not at all like himself.

Roman grabbed his brother’s arm, trying to stabilize him so he wouldn’t fall over.  
A part of him hoped it’d reveal this disturbing image as only an illusion.  
It didn’t.

“Sit down, okay? I promise that you’ll be fi-“, Roman looked down to the floor. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t lie to his brother. Not now, not about something this serious.  
“I-…I’ll try to fix this. I promise that I’ll try to fix this.”

With that, Roman closed the door behind them and sat his brother down on his bed. He sighed and sat down next to Remus, not saying a word for the next few moments, not sure how to put into words what he had to say.

“Remember this, uh, story about people being killed by unrequited love we wrote together?” Roman eventually broke the silence.

Remus nodded in return, speaking seemed way too painful.

“It seems like, uhm, certain stories we write can, well, influence what happens to us. They can make an impact on our lives, so to speak, and not just a metaphorical one.”

Remus seemed to think for a moment.

“So I’m going to die?”  
His hoarse whisper was more of an observation than it was a question.

The tears falling from Roman’s eyes and down onto the bed were enough of an answer to him.

Roman tried to think of something to say but there wasn’t a single thing that could make this ~~nightmare~~ any less horrible.  
He looked at the flower petals and cursed the flowers that would soon take his brother’s life.

Dark blue:  
the painful irony he wished Remus didn’t have to bear.  
Why had he chosen not only to involve Remus, the embodiment of repulsive ideas, but also Virgil, who at the time had practically been made out of teenage angst in writing this story?  
Why had they all agreed on connecting the petals to the person whose lack of interest would be powerful enough to kill a lovesick fool by making them choke on their own unrequited love?

Dark blue rose mallow.  
The flowers that had been everywhere in the mind space the day Logan had married Patton, the love of his life.  
Everywhere. And for the first time, without anyone knowing, the blue blossoms had been in Remus’ lungs, slowly starting to grow.

“I think I want to be alone, Roman,” Remus said.  
There was an unspoken “I couldn’t bear to have you watch me die.”

And with that, he stood up and staggered out of the room.

Roman sat on his bed without moving, his mind trying to grasp what had just happened. It seemed so surreal. The only thing there to prove that he wasn’t imagining this, that this conversation was real, were the flower petals on his floor; the flower petals that were soon hit by the tears that started to fall from Roman’s face.

Remus hid away in his room, unnoticed by anyone.  
He lied down on the floor, giving in to the exhaustion.  
The flowers in his lungs started to grow even more as he drifted off into a heavy sleep he no longer had the strength to fight. A sleep he would never wake from again.

And as Roman spoke to Virgil, his eyes red from crying and his hands shaking even though Virgil held them tight in his own, the flowers started to make their way up Remus’ trachea.

Finally, when Virgil was close to falling asleep on Roman’s bed and Roman himself was staring at a blank page, trying to get himself to write something, Remus’ body gave up. 

Flowers started to bloom everywhere in his room, filling every last bit of empty space with dark blue blossoms.

Remus’ death overcame the mind space like an explosion.

Roman felt like he was being ripped apart – it was as if he was reliving the unbearable pain of when King Creativity had been separated into two, of when he had been violently ripped apart to never be one again.

But this was worse, somehow. This felt like having the very culmination of his entire existence break apart into smithereens; like he was burning and yet freezing at the same time. He scrambled to his feet, knocking over the chair he’d been sitting on, and started screaming. A scream that expressed misery and grief and **pain** ; unimaginable pain. A scream that Roman wasn’t sure if he could ever stop it if he wanted to.

Virgil’s breathing sped up, his body going into fight or flight mode.  
Every last bit of tiredness was suddenly gone.  
His fingernails dug into his palms as stumbled towards Roman, the only clear thought his brain was able to produce was to somehow comfort his boyfriend.

Seeing Roman like this - his arms wrapped around himself, bending over in pain, screaming and crying – made his stomach turn and his heart break.  
He held Roman close, keeping him from falling apart as they both shook and cried.  
Neither of them were to see Remus ever again.

Logan felt like his head was being crushed. The figurative weight of a thousand tons was crashing down on him and he sank down onto the floor. He had experienced migraines before, of course he had, but they were nothing compared to this. Nausea and dizziness overcame him like a flood, a flood that made his head spin and that brought tears to his eyes. A sudden burst of colour flashed up in his vision, all he could see was a dark green.  
Something was very, very wrong. And suddenly, Logan knew what he had to do.

Almost as if he was under a trance, he stood up and made his way to Remus’ room. 

When Logan opened the door, he was immediately overwhelmed by an image of Remus that’d forever be burned into his brain. 

Remus was…so many things at this moment.  
“Alive”, however, was not one of those things.

He was…overgrown, certainly.  
Logan had never seen that many flowers in one place.  
They were beautiful and Remus would’ve hated them; would’ve absolutely despised every single one of those flawless blossoms.  
But he didn’t, because another thing he was, was “dead”. Very much so.  
He was unable to know of their existence and therefore unable to hate them.

Remus lied there, completely still – unmoving in his flowery grave.

And then, Logan noticed that Remus and all of the flowers around him were slowly beginning to fade.

He was starting to become transparent, just enough so that Logan could start to see through him. It would only be a matter of minutes before Remus and all that was connected to him would be truly gone.

Logan wasn’t able to process any of this.  
Couldn’t comprehend how any of this could be happening.  
He just stood there and helplessly watched as Remus became less and less visible. 

Remus – his friend. One of the people who had helped make Logan’s and Patton’s wedding day as perfect as it had been. Truth be told, Logan hadn’t believed in perfection until he had seen Patton standing in front of the altar, smiling at Logan like he was the only thing that mattered; they had been surrounded by their friends – no, their family.  
And Remus was part of that family. He was family! 

Someone who didn’t question any of Logan’s experiments, someone who made Logan laugh with his crude humour…and he was dead!

He looked nothing like himself at that moment, surrounded by the flowers that had been everywhere on Logan’s perfect day. The only thing left of Remus was an empty shell of what he had once been.

He was pale and seemed so small and broken and he was- he was…gone. He was gone.

Where there had just been an open door, mere seconds ago, there was now only a blank wall. Nothing left to indicate that Remus had ever existed in the first place, but the memories the remaining sides had of him.

Remus’ death inflicted a wound on his family that would never fully heal – a scar they would bear for the rest of their lives.

And though Logan and Patton found comfort in each other’s presence, holding each other through the pain; and though Roman and Virgil had each other, cried together while also being able to fondly smile at the memories left behind by Remus, they knew that something, no, someone, would always be missing.

Deceit wandered through the hallway that had once connected his and Remus’s room, alone, and miserable, as he would always be from now on.  
He took a moment to pause at the empty space where Remus’ room had once been. His hands were shaking, his human eye was glittering with tears.

He kneeled down, lighting the candle that he had placed there after regaining his power to move. Remus’ death had hit him like a blizzard – for days he had been frozen still in his room, scared and alone – as he would always be from now on.  
Remus’ death had made him shut down.

He stopped spending time with the other sides, the people who meant so much to him. Even though something inside of him longed for them, wishing that their company could be a light in the darkness to him, a shimmer of hope in the void he was trapped in, just the thought of leaving his room or this empty corridor was too…bright. So bright, it was blinding him; it made his head throb with pain.

Deceit placed a vase with thistles and withered roses in it next to the candle.  
“This is for you, Remus. I hope you like them.”

He was too exhausted to lie. And anyway, no one was there to hear him speak the truth, and no one would be ever again, so it didn’t matter. And it wouldn’t matter ever again.

“I know that this is way too late…I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you… I lo-“, his voice broke, “I miss you. I miss you so much.”

There was no answer. There never would be one. The only thing that would be there for Deceit from now on was solitude. Solitude and sorrow.

And as tears started falling onto the thistles, a cough shook Deceit’s whole body.

And finally, when wilted rose petals, Deceit’s very own blossoms of sorrow, swirled through the air, Deceit knew that his own demise would soon arrive.


	2. Would that I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Deceit finally get to spend some alone time - together.

“Dee, look! I found a jellyfish!” Remus announced excitedly as he made his way across the beach to where Deceit was sitting.

“That’s wonderful, my dear…Please tell me you didn’t touch it, though.”, Deceit responded and looked up from the book lying in his lap, only to see his beloved standing right in front of him with a huge smile on his face and a jellyfish on his head.

Deceit shook his head in amusement and returned the smile.  
“Why am I not surprised?”

“Cause you know me?”

Remus flopped down on the blanket next to Deceit, his drenched clothes dripping and soaking the blanket.

“I do know you. After all, I’ve been enduring your ideas for a long time now,”  
Deceit closed the book and turned around to face Remus to make sure he’d know he was joking.  
“Sometimes I wonder why.”

Remus pouted playfully.  
“Because you love me?”

“Ah, yes. Love. That’s the bitch that makes me put up with you”.  
Deceit pressed a finger to Remus’ nose.  
“I do love you. Everything about you; and that includes all of your ideas. And I’d kiss you right now if it weren’t for the jellyfish and the seaweed in your hair.”

“I’ll be back in a minute, stay put!” Remus said, his pout quickly replaced by a goofy smile. He scrambled to his feet and sprinted towards the ocean.

When he returned, the jellyfish was gone – swimming freely in the water again.

“There’s still seaweed in your hair, darling.”

“Does that keep you from kissing me?” Remus teased and sat down on Deceit’s lap, carelessly pushing the book away.  
“Is your class more important to you than I am?”

In response, Deceit simply wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist and pulled him into a kiss.

After a while, Deceit broke the kiss and smiled.  
“Your lips taste like salt.”

Remus giggled and kissed Deceit again before pushing him down onto the blanket, now lying on top of him.

“Remus, you’re going to crush me.”

“Your fault for being too comfy, Snakyey,” Remus mumbled, refusing to move.

However, instead of being crushed, Deceit started to run his fingers through Remus’ hair who in return let out a satisfied hum.

There was a moment of comfortable silence between the two of them that was only broken by the steady crashing of waves against the shore.

“We could run away together”, Remus then said, seemingly out of nowhere.  
Deceit stopped petting Remus’ hair for a moment.  
“What do you mean?”

“Run away together!” Steal a ship, sail the seven seas, take what we can, give none back ‘n all that shit!” Remus explained excitedly, “We could be pirates, Dee, pirates!”

A smile spread on Deceit’s face as he resumed running his fingers through Remus’ hair.  
“That sounds wonderful, dear.”

“It does!” Remus was smiling from ear to ear at this point.  
“Would you run away with me?”

Deceit seemed to think for a moment.  
“We promised to take Virgil to the My Chemical Romance concert.”

Remus groaned.  
“Ugh. You’re right. We couldn’t just let our emo hanging like that.”  
He nestled his head into Deceit’s chest.  
“Pirates are the shit, though, Dee-Dee. No stupid fucking social norms and-“, suddenly, another idea popped into his head, “Hey, do you want to dance with me?”

Deceit was more than used to Remus jumping from one thought to another by know – after all, he did know him better than anyone else.

“I’d love to.”

And while the sun was setting - painting the sky in beautiful shades of red and orange - the two of them danced; twirling slowly on top of the warm sand.

The sun started to fully disappear behind the horizon - seemingly drowning in the ocean, Remus would have thought if he had paid any attention at all to the sunset.  
But he didn’t: Deceit, _his beautiful_ Deceit, was the sole center of Remus' undivided attention.

Stars were beginning to sparkle on the sky as Deceit dipped Remus, making him laugh softly. 

“I didn’t answer your question earlier,” he said. 

“Huh?”

“You asked me if I would run away with you,”  
Deceit smiled, and he was perfect, Remus thought.  
“Aye. I would, my love. I would.”


	3. 'Til Death Do Us Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil never would've thought he'd be married one day.  
> But here he was, lying in the arms of his husband.  
> If only it weren't for the spiralling thoughts of inevitably losing him due to his immortality...

“Remember when I said I want to spend my life with you?” Roman asked quietly and pressed a kiss to the top of his husband’s head. Husband. It felt so unreal. If it weren’t for the rings on their intertwined hands, Roman probably wouldn’t have believed it.

Virgil chuckled softly.   
“Of course I do. As if I could forget that.”

“I meant it, you know?”

“I sure hope you do. Otherwise, this whole ceremony would’ve been really awkward.”

A few years ago, Virgil would’ve thought of every wedding as “really awkward”.  
He didn’t even remotely consider ever getting married himself – weddings were expensive and a waste of time and he’d just end up watching his hypothetical husband age and die ~~and besides, no one would ever love him enough to want to marry him, let alone enough to spend eternity with him.~~

But here he was, a couple of years later, married to the love of his life; happier than he’d ever been before.  
A close second “moment of unfathomable happiness” had been when Roman had proposed to him. Just thinking about it brought a smile to Virgil's face. It was as if the moment had burned itself into Virgil’s brain: The tears glittering in Roman’s eyes, the smile on his face, the sound of his voice that made Virgil’s head spin and his knees weak-  
Virgil wanted nothing more than to do as Roman asked him; to spend his life with him.

“’Til death do us part. You promised.”

Roman was quiet for a moment.  
“But…what if death never comes?”

Virgil froze.   
“What?”

“What if death never comes?”, Roman repeated, making eye-content with Virgil as he turned around in his arms.

“Roman, you-…you don’t have to do this.”  
Virgil’s voice sounded a lot less steady than he hoped it would.  
It would be so incredibly selfish to put Roman through this just to get his own happily (for) ever after. He couldn’t trap the love of his ~~never ending~~ life in the everlasting suffering of immortality. Even if that meant having to watch Roman-…watch him-…to… ~~outlive him.~~  
To be alone again, eventually.

He was fine sacrificing his own happiness in the end to keep his everything happy.  
He was fine. His head wasn’t filled with images that ripped his heart into smithereens, his thoughts weren’t spiralling deep into the inevitable worst-case scenario, he was perfectly fine! He was fine, he was fine, he was **FINE, HE WAS-**

The gentle press of a pair of lips against his own silences his thoughts.   
For a moment, Virgil’s perception consisted of nothing but this kiss and he desperately held on to it – his arms wrapping around Roman’s torso, the feeling of being held close by his husband grounding him.

After a while, Roman broke the kiss and placed a hand on Virgil’s cheek.

“Darling”, he whispered, “I want nothing more than to spend my life with you. And I want you to be able to spend yours with me.”

“Immortality is irreversible. It’s painful. It’s suffering. I don’t want to hurt you. I-…I couldn’t hurt you like that.” 

~~There was an unspoken “I couldn’t handle it if it didn’t work.”~~

“I made a promise, Virgil. I knew what keeping it would mean.”

Virgil’s heart ached. He wasn’t ready to be given hope, only for it to be ripped away from him again.   
“Are you sure?”

Without any hesitation or doubt, Roman smiled.   
“There’s a ring on your hand to prove it. I would love to spend eternity with you, my storm cloud.”

Finally, Virgil believed him.

Only a bond more powerful than death itself could be powerful enough to make immortality something that could be shared.  
Yet when Roman’s eyes began to glow golden, it was undeniable that what he and Virgil had was just that – a bond stronger than death itself.

And when the two of them drifted off to sleep after hours of crying out of joy, holding each other close and kissing, again and again, they knew that they’d have all eternity to keep doing just that.

And they were more than looking forward to their happily **(for!)** ever after.


	4. Fireflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Virgil finds himself unable to fall asleep, Roman has an idea of how to cheer his boyfriend up.

“What if I just stayed awake?” Virgil mumbled.   
“It’s not like I’ll be able to fall asleep anyway. I could get some work done.”

Roman sat up and turned on the lightning bug-shaped nightlight that was standing on the nightstand next to him. It illuminated the canopy bed’s inside, stars dancing over the drapes.

“While you may not need beauty-sleep as you’re absolutely gorgeous no matter what, sleep deprivation is still harmful, darling. Besides, what would I do without you lying next to me? I’d be so lonely! ”

“Are you trying to seduce me into a healthy sleep schedule?”

Roman smiled.   
“Is it working?” 

“Kinda.”  
Virgil buried his head into Roman’s chest.   
“But y’know…I feel like I'm far too tired to fall asleep.”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“It’s like…it’s just too hard to focus on counting sheep or whatever. Or timing my breathing to slow down my heartbeat. If I have to focus on doing something myself I’ll just get lost in that. Does that make any sense?”

“It does,” Roman assured him. 

“Besides, I don’t wanna keep you awake. The thing you said about not needing beauty sleep definitely applies to you but I don’t want to-”, Virgil sighed, “weigh you down...”

“You’re not. I enjoy spending time with you.”  
Roman loosely draped an arm around Virgil’s waist and started to pet Virgil’s hair with his free hand.   
“And if you want me to, I could stay awake with you.”

Virgil leaned into the touch, his body starting to relax.   
“Thank you.”

“Always, dearest.”

A comfortable silence surrounded them as they embraced each other.

“’s really pretty”, Virgil whispered a while and gestured to the stars coming from the nightlight. 

And at that moment, Roman had an idea.

“Have you ever seen fireflies, Virgil?”

Virgil thought about it for a second.   
“I don’t think so, no.”

“I’m going to show you something, then,”   
Roman said, a smile starting to spread on his face.   
“If this gets overwhelming for you at any point, please tell me immediately so I can stop.”

Roman switched off the nightlight and took a deep breath.

The look of confusion on Virgil’s face was replaced by amazement as he saw tiny lights appearing. 

Fascinated, he watched as the lightning bugs flew around him. He couldn’t believe his eyes – thousands of little stars were dancing around him.

Just as Roman wanted to ask his boyfriend what he thought of his creation, he was caught awestruck by the soft smile on Virgil’s face. Never before had Roman seen him this amazed. Virgil seemed at ease, all the stress and anxiety having seemingly disappeared as he watched the fireflies. 

And though Roman was proud of his work, the only thing he could think of at this moment was how incredibly beautiful Virgil was and how much he wanted to keep him as happy as he was in this moment for the rest of his life.

Virgil stood up, the lightning bugs following him as he walked to the middle of the room.  
Tears of happiness were glittering in his eyes as he spun in circles, making the light appear soft and blurry. 

_He giggled._  
Roman swore he could feel his heart skip a beat.  
Virgil was gorgeous and happy and _giggling_ and Roman couldn’t contain his love for him.   
Everything about Virgil was perfect and if Roman hadn’t been head over heels in love with him before, he surely would be now.

Roman just sat there and watched Virgil, losing his sense of time because all that existed to him at this moment was his perfect boyfriend surrounded by fireflies.


End file.
